ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
Skrevet og sunget af Eric Idle
Fra 'Monty Python's Life Of Brian'

Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say.

Some things in life are bad.
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewin' on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best
...AND...

Always look on the bright side of life (whistles)
Always look on the light side of life (whistles)
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feelin' in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing

And always look on the bright side of life (whistles)
Come on! ...Always look on the right side of life (whistles)
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it-- It's your last chance anyhow!

So always look on the bright side of death
A-just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece a shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughin' as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

And always look on the bright side of life

(C'mon Brian, cheer up!)

Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)

(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)

Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)

(I mean, what've you got to lose? You know, you come from nothin', you're going back tonothin', what you lost? Nothing!)

Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)

(Nothing will come from nothing... you know what they say. Cheer up, ya ol' bugger! C'mon, give us a grin.)

Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)

(There you are. See? It's the end of the film. Incidentally, this record's available in the foyer.)

Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)

(Some of us've got to live as well, you know. Who do you think pays for all this rubbish?)

Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)

(They'll never make their money back, you know. I told him, I said to him, Bernie, I said, they'll never make their money back.)

Always look on ...

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ANSWERING MACHINE SONG
Skrevet og sunget af Eric Idle
Fra `Monty Python's Complete Waste Of Time'

If you want to leave a message after the tone
Then speak clearly and I'll call you when I'm home
Just say your words and say your name
Leave the time and date you called
And I'll get back to you
Unless you're completely a boring old fart

If you want to leave a message after the tone
And darling, please forgive me, I'm not home
I'm out shopping or trying to buy a dress
So please leave your message, unless you're in distress

Please leave a message after the tone
I'm so sorry this is taking me so long
I hope you're not calling from Australia
Or far from Singapore
Or this whole thing is costing you a fortune
As well as being a bore

(sobbing) Leave a message, please leave me a message after the tone
Because ... alright I am! I am home! I am, I am, I am!
I'm locked up in the bathroom all alone
Please leave a-me a message after the tone

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EVERY SPERM IS SACRED
Musik: D. Howman og A. Jacquemin
Tekst: Michael Palin og Terry Jones
Sang: Michael Palin, Terry Jones og Company
Fra `Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life'

There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists
There are Hindus, and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed BUT
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic
And have been since before I was born
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm

You don't have to be a six footer
You don't have to have a great brain
You don't have to have any clothes on
You're a Catholic the moment Dad came
Because...

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay
For each sperm that can't be found

Every sperm is wanted
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
Spill theirs just anywhere
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Every sperm is useful
Every sperm is fine
God needs everybody's
Mine, and mine, and mine

Let the pagans spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill and plain
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

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GALAXY SONG
Tekst: Eric Idle
Musik: Eric Idle og John Du Prez
Sang: Eric Idle
Fra `Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life'

Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown
And things seem hard or tough
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft
And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned
A sun that is the source of all our power
The sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour
Of the galaxy we call the Milky Way

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars
It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick
But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide
We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point
We go 'round every two hundred million years
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe...

(Animated calliope interlude)

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whiz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is
So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

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LUMBERJACK SONG
Musik: Michael Palin, Terry Jones og Fred Tomlinson
Tekst: Terry Jones og Michael Palin
Sang: Michael Palin og the Fred Tomlinson Singers
Fra `Monty Python's Flying Circus' og andre

I didn't want to be a barber anyway.
I wanted to be a lumberjack!

Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia... The Fir! The Larch! The Redwood! The mighty Scots Pine! The plucky little Aspen! The great limping rude tree of Nigeria! With my best gal by my side, we'd sing, SING...

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day

Mounties:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch
He goes to the lavatory
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea

All:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

(A brief, confused pause)

All:
...He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he wears... high heels?
Suspenders... and a bra?!

Wants to be a girlie?!
Poofter! Bloody poofter!
Pinko commie fairy faggot...

HIS GIRL:
Oh, Bevis! And I thought you were so RUGGED!!

(footsteps, door slams)

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
Sleeps all night and he works all day!

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TRAFFIC LIGHTS
Skrevet og sunget af Terry Jones
Fra `Contractual Obligation Album'

I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
No matter where they've been
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
But only when they're green

Chorus:
He likes traffic lights
He likes traffic lights
He likes traffic lights
No matter where they've been
He likes traffic lights
He likes traffic lights
He likes traffic lights
But only when they're green

I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
That is what I said
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
But not when they are red

Chorus:
He likes traffic lights
He likes traffic lights
That is what he said
He likes traffic lights
He likes traffic lights
He likes traffic lights
He likes traffic lights
He likes traffic lights
But not when they are red

I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
Although my name's not Bamber
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I... Oh God ...

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